Friday, March 25, 2011
Worst. Date. Ever. (LMAO at another's expense)
I promise...you will not be disappointed by this read.
No, really...I am still laughing at my friend's expense...and he knows it. He also knows I'm blogging it...with names changed of course. :)
My friend, we'll call him Tom, has had an interesting life for a man his age. Been places I'll probably never see in my life and done more humanitarian work than most celebrities see in a lifetime...even at his young years (28 I think).
Anyhoo...here we go...
Tom has been dating a girl for awhile and they had "the talk"...so now they are still seeing each other as well as open to see others. Every man's dream, right? Date about Manhattan! Woo-hoo!
Yeah...not so much last night.
Tom was set up on a blind date. A guy he works with knows this girl through another friend and she's HOT HOT HOT. A Russian model, lived in NYC for a long time, gets a lot of paid work, etc etc etc. Hot Model. Any man would say yes.
Now, what's funny isn't that it took him 4 glasses of wine in 3 hours to try and make conversation with her (though, I thought that was hilarious in itself)...what's funny was her, shall we say, "proposition".
She wanted him to come back to her place and have sex.......
And TAPE IT!
But wait...there's more!
She wants to include her roommate.
No...I'm not joking. But wait...there's more!
She wants to add her roommate's boyfriend to the mix too! Hello orgy invitation!
But wait...say it with me...THERE'S MORE!
**wipe the tears from your eyes from laughter**
She then informs him that she likes to be slapped during sex.
He told me this story last night as he smoked and I walked my dog and I won't lie. I lost it. I laughed so hard my deep, rib-cage vibrating laughter was so loud I think I woke the neighbors as my voice bounced off walls. I had to lean down to put my hands on my knees! The tears...oh the tears... *sigh* just remembering it makes my eyes water.
Poor dude hasn't even been in NYC a full month yet.
So...in conclusion I'll tell you that he did NOT take her up on the offer. After dinner she asked him, "What's next?" He said he was goin' home. She got quite upset. I'm guessing the hot Russian blonde model doesn't get turned down too often. But she did last night and I had the BEST laugh I think of my year so far.
So thank you Tom. Thank you stupid Russian model girl. You both made my year.
The "New York Moment"...I think Tom can say he's experienced one of those now, don't you?
Have a wonderful weekend gang!
Shocked and stunned and laughing through the tears,
Tamsin :) xoxo