A Summer of Changes

Some of you know Tamsin Silver is my pen name. Some don't...so to those who didn't...SURPRISE!

Under my real name I do theatre. I have a BA in Theatre Performance and Directing with certification in Secondary Education as well. And THAT, my friends, is wicked hard to get. Education classes are rough and the NTE (National Teachers Exam) is NO JOKE!

That said...when I came to NYC to do theatre I started off by working for others and ended up, like many, working for myself. I started producing. I was the Artistic Director of a company as well as the President and then I ended up being treasurer....and let me tell you, THAT was not a good idea. I'm horrible with paperwork. All I ever wanted to do was direct. But I learned to produce and got pretty good at it. I even became a better SM and TD because of it.

Problem is...it's stressfull and the money of one show was necessary to be able to afford to do another show. We were fine...we made enough each show to move on, barely, and had our heads above water..........until the economy crashed and people didn't go out to the theater. We had very little money but we started to consider what we could do to raise it.

Then the three of us in the company had major life changes. I started writing more, our secretary and Assoc. Artistic Director left her day job to persue a full time acting and music career, and our VP and Assoc. Artistic Director got married to a lovely lady and his job promoted him BIG time. We've held onto the company for the past 2 years anyway...but not really done anything with it. Which is sad as its a nice little non-profit company with its own 501c3 status. But, life is what it is.

Directing for the festival I'm working on now made me realize something. Even after a hiatus this long, I hate producing. The drama of it all exhausts me. I don't want to be in charge of program info, paying for rehearsal space, FINDING rehearsal space, etc. I don't. I want to direct every now and again but I don't want anything to do with the money, the taxes, getting butts in seats. I just don't. I want to be artistic...not business.

So, sadly, I emailed my board yesterday and we all agreed to dissolve the theatre company. I cried as I wrote the email but I knew it was right. And they agreed with me and so, the company will be done as soon as our insurance runs out this year. We'll not renew it and we'll let the company fold. It's sad but I think its the right thing to do.

At first glance this closing looks like the ground I gained has been lost. But that's not true. I think it's just the opposite. I think that Michael, Rachel and I grew as people together on that company and made the contacts necessary to move forward on our own. I think that we all created something wonderful for 5 years (along with those who were with us earlier on and left) and it is something to be cherished. I honestly believe that company gave me what I needed to learn my craft better, from a NYC stand point, and make connections. And that going out on my own now, as a freelance director, is a step forward...not a step back. It built my resume and now, I can take that and move onward.

In fact, I sent an email to a theatre company I've always enjoyed...who has been around NYC for many years that contains a big group of great people. I wanted to let them know I'd be available to direct for them if they ever thought I'd fit a project. I figured maybe sometime in the next year I might get a call. I actually got an email 20 minutes later asking me to meet with them for coffee/tea to discuss where they might be able to use me, artistically.

So now I'll be jetting out on my own. When I do the theatre camp I've talked of, it'll be just under my name vs. the theatre company. And to be honest, my resume is better suited for that than the company's was. I'll start small, teaching lessons and whatnot I think. But probably not for another year as I do have a book coming out and all.

I'm excited to see where I go from here artistically and I've never felt like I've done something so right in my life. I'll miss the company greatly....but I think we'll be remembered for doing good work and I'm happy to say I don't regret my time running it with amazing and talented people who were and are my rock, in many ways.

Seems its a summer of changes for me...new roommates, no more company, traveling more, running huge photo-shoots, my book coming out...etc. Good thing I'm good with change, huh? :)

Have a great weekend all! I'll be buried in getting this show ready to go up on Wednesday AND getting ready for my photo-shoot next weekend. Pray I stay sane and it all stays smooth!

xo

Tamsin :)