Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Only a few more days till Christmas and even fewer until I get molested by an airport employee...oh the joys of the holiday season...
From what I understand I have the option of a body scan that is like X-ray vision---seeing through my clothes to my fat ass OR a gratuitous feel up of my personage to make sure I'm not hiding a knife in my vagina. Un-fucking-believable! We are out of control! It's like the Red Scare but instead of people pointing fingers at others and screaming "Natzi" we all are looked at as potential terrorists because the government has us all scared stupid. *sigh*
I've heard stories that when someone had the "pat down" (not what I'd call it but hey, "backroom lovin'" isn't probably the best title anyways) the TSA decided to reach down into someone's pants. I personally have a problem with this. This is violating my person. If a man I didn't know (or woman for that matter) walked up to me on the street and reached into my pants or down my bra I could have them arrested but its "okay" if the government does it? Ah...ah...ah...BULLSHIT (said w/in a sneeze to make it less harsh).
I can understand the old "pat down" and I can even understand the archway that discovers metal objects...both of which I feel do the job fine. If I've got a gun, that metal detector will go off. So why do we need a body scan? And why does it need to be so clear on our body parts? Men...the size of your penis will be on display so be prepared, we'll have a picture! And ladies...well...I already know how we feel about our bodies SO...I KNOW how this concept makes us feel...HORRIBLE. FAT. UNCOMFORTABLE. VIOLATED. Need I go on? Some of us don't like the idea of someone we love having to see us naked let alone a stranger so...the scan makes us VERY unhappy. But, alas, the government doesn't care about your feelings...they're trying to make sure you're safe. And I understand that...but there had GOT to be a better way than this...there has to be.
Here is what a Backscanner X-ray Scan looks like:
Here's what a Millimeter Wave Scan looks like:
So, would you rather have their hands ON you or have them see you naked?
It's bad either way, right?
Well...since I'm flying home for Christmas on Thursday morning (like...at some ungodly hour making me need to be there at 4am) I will get the honor of choosing. Naked photo or inappropriate touching? Hmmm...tough decision. Guess it depends on how lonely I'm feeling at that moment and if the guy doing the "gropping" is hot. ;)
Celebrities must be really hating this. Someone could leak those pics...someone could feel them up just to say they did...hell, I know of one celeb who FedEx's her underwear back to her home after vacation so that no one will steal her used underwear. Crazy huh? Not that crazy...I had my clean underwear stolen once on a flight to Michigan! And honey, I'm not famous and they were just satin thongs from Victoria Secret...not lace...not string thongs...not worn. I have NO idea why someone took them. Weird people. So now all my underwear goes in my carry on. Why that celeb doesn't do that, I have no idea. But hey...each to their own.
But enough on the negative...let's look at the positive shall we? I get to see my dad, step mom and step sister for the holidays AND I get to drive about town in my dad's van and visit friends from high school and so on and so forth. It will be very fun! It will be worth the "Naked Picture or Innapropriate Touching" moment.
I enjoy playing Santa...do you? I've picked up four presents for each member of my family who will be at the house on Christmas morning and all of them are going to be a suprise! I hope they like what I got them...I'm pretty sure they will. My dad is sorta hard to buy for because when you ask him what he wants/needs he says, "Nothing. I don't need anything." *sigh* Thanks Dad. That helps sooo much. But I usually get him a Borders Gift Card, movies, or sweaters. This year will be no different. I got him some movies, the BGC, and though I didn't get him a sweater...I'm excited to be taking him out for a lunch date to see The Dawn Treador. I made that poor man read that book to me THREE times as a kid...so...I think he deserves his daughter to take him to see it on the big screen. :)
As far as my step sister and step mom go? Uh...can't say...Di reads this blog. ;)
I get to stay with the fam until Tuesday afternoon. I then go back to work on Wednesday and Thursday...but Friday the 31st is off for the New Year Holiday...and I hop on a plane to Orlando, FL that Friday (my friend paid for the flight cause he's amazing!) and I get to hang out in Orlando for the New Year....at DISNEY! I'm loving this, btw...LOVING it! Here's to hoping we get warm weather down there!!!!!! I promise to have LOTS of embarrassing pics of me taken while I'm there and post the ones that aren't too bad here for you to all see. :) Especially if I can locate Winnie the Pooh!
Anyhoo...if you're traveling this holiday season...do the following things please:
#1. Be organized at security and get your coat, shoes, jewelry, etc off quickly and efficiently.
#2. Decide if you want a good "feel up" or a "naked pic" before you get there so you're ready to commit to one or the other so as to not hold up the line cause all those people behind you want to get that part OVER just like you do.
#3. Be nice to the TSA employee...they've been told to do this as part of their job (even though it sucks).
#4. If a TSA employee gets out of line when touching you...CALMLY talk to a supervisor on if their "touch" was warranted. By making a scene you hold up everyone behind you AND you risk missing your flight that you PAID for.
Have a safe and happy holiday and know one important last thing...
I choose the body scan. Have a pic of me, TSA! Knock yourself out! Can I bend over for you while I'm at it? ;)
P.S. I need to share a funny pic with you...since my blog today was primarily my rant on TSA. We must end on a fun note. This pic was stolen from my Twitter pal Ana in Wales...enjoy!