Thursday, March 25, 2010


You'd think after the HUGE ass post I typed just a wee bit ago I'd have nothing else for my reading audiece today.

SO not true.

I have the Indroduction to Book 4; Destiny.

Considering my previous post...I think possibly this next book mirrors me right now in a way that's too deep to explain without rambling like earlier. I can feel that writing this next book will be me sharing a bit of my soul with you...that it will help me see my destiny in the real world...and that because of how it effects me in real life, that this book will effect those who read it.

That said...I give you the introduction to Book 4.


Main Entry: des•ti•ny
Pronunciation: \ˈdes-tə-nē\
Function: noun
Inflected Form(s): plural des•ti•nies
Etymology: Middle English destinee, from Anglo-French, from feminine of destiné, past participle of destiner
Date: 14th century
1 : something to which a person or thing is destined : FORTUNE
2 : a predetermined course of events often held to be an irresistible power or agency
synonyms see FATE

So I wait.

What do I wait for?

Destiny…to eat me whole. This “predetermined” course of events that seem to have infected my being. The “chosen one”. Prophecy this and prophecy that. I hate it. To feel like you have no choice but yet you’ve made all the wrong ones. It sucks. I am unhappy and I hurt those I love daily. How in hell can this be my destiny? Did I per chance pick the wrong path one day? If so, when did that happen and can I go back and change my mind?

On one hand, I have two beautiful children and powers that many would make a deal with the devil for. Yet, on the other hand I seem to have the propensity for tragedy and horror to follow me and those I care for wherever I go. One might suggest maybe I need to embrace this stay of being. I cannot fathom it. If I didn’t feel I was needed I would find a way to die. Destiny or no, there are things I’ve seen and things I’ve done that make my skin crawl and my non-beating heart cry out for help.

But I can’t. Have help that is. I have made these bad choices, whether they were my destiny to make or not, and I am the one that deals with them. There is no need to share my dirty laundry with those who count on me so heavily. I am the chosen one and I should be able to shoulder this pain and these burdens alone…and I will.

Until it kills me.

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