Thursday, February 24, 2011


Last night I decided to read my new Chapter One of The Cameron Chrinicles outloud to my besty, Lauren. I reach into my purse, to grab my thumb drive...

It's missing.

---Insert mini panic---

I take a deep breath and I start digging. I remember explicitly putting it into my purse. (Sometimes I leave it plugged into my work computer) It has to be there. I remember it hitting the material of the purse with a thump.

I don't see it.

---Insert medium level panic---

I dump the purse (of course).

It's not there.

---Insert major panic---

You may ask, "Why the panic?".

Oh...cause I'm a douchbag and I wrote a whole new chapter two on Wednesday and saved it to the thumb drive w/o emailing it to myself or saving it to my work computer system.


I try not to cry. I open my email to see how much of chapter two I'd mailed myself the other day. Luckily 5 pages of the 11. Hence, only 6 pages are gone.

Gone gone gone.

But that's not the worst part. I think to myself..."Where could it have fallen out?" I then realized that maybe when I'd ka-thunked it into my bag I'd accidently put it in the front pocket where my wallet sits...the one I pull out to get my Metro-Card.

Now my thoughts are. "Sweet baby Jesus, all my books, on a thumb the subway." Lauren asks me how many are "officially" copyrighted. I start to count how much it will cost to copyright all those that aren't...just in case someone finds my stuff and gets evil. (The likelyhood is slim but who really wants to fuck with that chance, right?)

I calm myself by pulling up the 1st new chapter that WAS emailed to myself earlier this week. I read it outloud to Lauren. And for the first time, I hear something I like. It sounds more descriptive, but w/o rambling, than I've ever been. It sounds deeper emotionally (with concern to my main character) than I've been able to do before. It is smooth and for the first time as I read it outloud I don't trip on it. I've read my shit outloud before and I stumble here and there...but not this time.

It's the thing that shut up the "holy shit I lost my books on a thumbdrive in the subway system like a jackass and didn't back up my work from today fuck fuck fuck" rant in my head.

I went to bed.

I woke up and when I reached the subway stop near my work I look around on the ground, trying to remember where I pulled out that blasted wallet. I've found lost things more random before so I was having a wee bit o' faith. Hell, if my roommate can loose his keys in a huge thing of snow and find them a month later when it melts...maybe I will just "see" it laying there agaist the wall in the subway where someone had kicked it in their hurry.

Nothing. I did see something that turned out to be a battery...(small hopes hurt don't they?)

I go pick up my favorite water (It's the Orange flavor called "Rise" of Vitamin Water case you ever wanna butter me up) and a huge bag of Welch's Mixed Fruit Fruit Snacks to cheer me up and go to work.

As I walk in my eyes scan my desk. I see no little black thumb drive and my last, lingering threat of hope dies. I pick up papers and move things about...nothing.

I feel wretched.

I pull off my coat telling myself its nothing really. I'll just do the poor man's copyright and re-write those pages. It's not the end of the world. I can remember what I wrote know, the day I was inspired. Fuck.

I turn around and laying on the counter of my desk. Just where I'd been and seen nothing.....

You guessed it...

The bloody thumb drive.

I had just been standing there...and nothing. I turn around...turn back...and its there? How? What?!

It feels like magic.

It's all I consider at this point.

It's either that or in the alternate universe I pulled a "Bill and Ted" and came back in a millisecond and placed it there before the me in this reality turned around.

Yeah...magic sounds much more feasible.

***like the big ol' goober that I am, my eyes start to water...out of relief. Maybe I'm PMS-ing?***

Obviously I've saved that chapter in three places now. I'll not be slack and ever forget again.

Lesson learned.

Magic experienced.

How was YOUR Wednesday night/Thursday morning?

Tamsin :)

P.S. In all purse musta tipped and it fell out on my desk and I didn't see it when I stared at empty desk because...uh...yeah, I got nothing. I'm still gonna go with magic. ;)

No comments:

Post a Comment