Book Back vs. Elevator Pitch

While I prepare for a writers conference this upcoming weekend, I am creating what are called Elevator Pitches. These are short blurbs about the book I wish to pitch to an agent/editor in person. I will do my best to memorize them, but I'll have note cards with me in case my nerves get the better of me. :)

I thought maybe it would help others if I showed you the differences between them. Below is the difference for my Urban Fantasy novel, Moon Over Manhattan. I'll post the difference for my Contemporary Romance as well. With that one, the change is more drastic.

Starting with MOON OVER MANHATTAN...

BOOK BACK (131 words)

The Hybrid War has ended. Peace has come to The Clandestine World. Or has it?

When your father is arrested for working with the Russian Mafia and your brother picks up where he left off, threatening to ruin the new life you've created, what do you do?

You lie.

Once the daughter of the Royal Family of Werewolves, who were banished from favor, Denika Petrovskii must find her own way, concealing who she really is. But when a friend of her father's appears with information of an attack on both the city of New York and the new King of the Clandestine World, she must decide to help or hide. Can she get involved without exposing who she really is, or will she be discovered, losing everything she's worked so hard for?

They thought the war was over.

They were wrong.

ELEVATOR PITCH (74 words)

Once the daughter of the Russian Royal Family of Werewolves, who were banished from favor, Denika Petrovskii has built a new life in New York, concealing her past. But when a friend of her father's proves her brother is behind an attack on the new King of the Clandestine World and the city, she must decide to help or hide. Can she get involved without being discovered and losing everything she's worked so hard for?

Now for DUALITY OF SURRENDER. Here's the difference:

BOOK BACK (171 words)

When newly discovered, Urban Fantasy author, Courtney Behrent causes a scene in an upscale club in London, involving the up-and-coming actor, Topher Matthews, she attracts the unwanted attention of both the media and Mr. Matthews. A relationship ignites but when a fan puts their lives on the line, she must decide if this is the kind of life she wants.

Rising British star, Topher Matthews, has put a wall between his fame and his troubled past with loyal friends and adoring fans who don't understand how unhappy he is. Then he meets Courtney and he is completely taken with her. Placing himself in her path, he must learn to surrender to her and his past in order to find the balance he needs.

Two people, slowly losing who they used to be, are swamped by the duality of their multiple personas. Can they save each other from self-destruction as well as from the physical threat of fans who wish to harm them for not being who they want them to be?

ELEVATOR PITCH (106 words)

Newly discovered author, Courtney Behrent, accidentally causes a scene in an upscale club in London, involving up-and-coming actor, Topher Matthews, a man who has put a wall up between his fame and his troubled past. Yet when he meets Courtney, Topher finds himself drawn to her, attracting a media frenzy and plunging her into a world she's not sure she wants to be a part of. Then, when a rabid fan puts their lives in danger, Courtney must decide to stay or go...and Topher must fight for what he wants, for once in his life, and break down his wall with full surrender.

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First off, HUGE props to Leanna Hieber for helping me cut down my clunky, 300 word Book Back for Duality of Surrender. With two people's stories to portray on the back of a book, I was WAY too wordy. What she helped me do is much better.

Secondly, I'm proud to say the elevator pitch versions were on my own in a coffee shop yesterday. :) If I'd been asked to do this even two years ago, I'd have been lost on how to convey things in a short fashion. The first person to really help me with a pitch line was John Hartness (the man, the myth, the legend) and between him, Faith Hunter, and Leanna, I can say this isn't getting easy, not by a long shot, but I'm getting the hang of it!

Are you trying to write an elevator pitch? A tag line? A blurb for the back of your book? Are you stuck? It's okay! Just keep plugging away at it. Ask yourself what about the story is interesting to you and then ask yourself what is important for someone to know. It can't be everything! Find one or two things you feel define the events that occur and focus on those for starters. As I'm not an expert, thats the best advice I can give you. But, it helped me...maybe it'll help you.

Hope you all had a productive weekend!

Best,

Tamsin :)