Thursday, June 10, 2010

On the Flip Side


I know I know...for the 2 of you who read this blog (and the one who stalks know who you are)'ve wondered where the fuck I've been. Well, I did warn you in my last post I'd be MIA for a bit while I edited Book One for a potential agent who requested my book.

So here I am...on the flip side of the "editing and sending of le manuscript" and I feel...empty. Yes, you read me right. It feels very aniclimactic. Why? Cause I sent it on time and I have NO idea if she got it or what my time table is on when she'll get back to me. My manuscript is somewhere in the ether and am I happy with it? No. Why? Cause like all artists my work is never "done" in my eyes...but you reach a point where you say, "I can't work on this one anymore". And I reached that. I cut 75,000 words BUT if you count the fact that I wrote a few new sections for this book also...I actually cut about 100K from the original book. Now THAT my friends is an edit. Shit.

I will share one of my horrid details of my edit with you.

I finished. I was happy with it. I sent it to my editor to make sure it was in the right format for the lovely woman who requested it. She sent it back and I looked at it and noticed....the last 2 hours of edits I'd done that afternoon were missing. That's right...MISSING!!!! I stayed up and fixed the glaring things I needed done but it was now 100 words longer than it had been that afternoon when I'd sent it to my editor. My immediate reaction? "Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck!!!!" And then I sat there...from 1:30am to 3:30am trying to fix them. Cause I'd promised it would be to the agent on the 6th of June and we were now in the wee hours of the 7th.

So...we reached 3:30am and I said, "Fuck it"...she's not expecting it to be "perfect" anyways. That's what your publisher/editor is for. Send send send the fucker out!!!!

And it was out.

And I lay in bed feeling empty. #1 Cause I wasn't happy with it 'cause it wasn't as clean as it had been that afternoon. #2. I very likey missed fixing a few of the errors I'd found that afternoon that my "save" didn't, well, SAVE! (fucker) and #3. Cause all this tension and rushing and typing for 2.5 weeks non-stop from 10am to 10pm led to that; one click of a button and it was gone...into the ether...and I lay in bed upset.

I know, I'm being over sensative about it. But its my baby. It's my FIRST agent asking for my book. So, I think I'm allowed to be a bit hypersensative...for a week. I'll get over myself, have no fear.

So now the waiting starts. What does one do in the "between time" of sending one's work and hearing back? plan is to finish this musical theatre festival I'm the Technical Director for and then? Well...I'm going to work on sending more letters out to agents. Yes, I had a request for it, but she could very easily turn me down so...I shall continue to get my letter out, ESPECIALLY since I now have a fully edited copy of book one to send.

But to be honest???? And I hate to admit this. I'll probably take a week of watching saved TV shows on my DVR and then I'll get back to writing and letters and stuff.

Personally, I think I deserve it. I edited a 700 page book, cutting 100K words, in 2 bloody weeks people! TWO WEEKS! For that, I think I've earned a little TV time.

But have no fear...I'm sure Atlanta (that's my lead character) will only stay quiet in my head for so long and I'll be back to writing Book 4. What's exciting about THAT is I learned SO SO much doing my edit. Both on format and on content. It will only make me better and I'm looking forward to seeing what that does to Book 4. Yesterday I re-wrote the top of Chapter 8 with my new knowledge...and I'll be honest...that chapter is SO much better.

Just like in acting, in writing you never stop learning and improving...and that my dear, is one of the HUGE joys in writing. Learning to express the story in your head better. I for one am excited to see where this leads me.

This is Tamsin Silver signing out. Have a GREAT week...and I'll be back after some much deserved TV time.

xo -Tamsin :)

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