Friday, September 25, 2015

Amazon "Customer Service" (AKA: That hour of my life I'll never get back.)

Holy Mary, mother of God...I've been online with Amazon for an hour to get bounced around to every effing department to fix this issue of not being able to sign into my Kindle account via the app on my iPhone.

Notes of interest: 1) As I type this, I'm on hold to talk to a human being on the phone. 2) I just wanted to pull up a book of mine to find some information and it's become a whole ordeal. 3) I'd have pulled this all up online with the cloud reader but it flashes back and for the from loading to the site name so THAT is not gonna work. 4) I have the most recent iOS system and app load so...yeah.

So here...have a laugh and check out my online chat with my interjections because...why not...

You are now connected to Vipin from

Me: I am unable to sign in to my account on my phone...I just signed into the account online...I know the sign in information is correct, but the app says I don't exist. 11:43:17 AM

Vipin: Hello, my name is Vipin. I'm here to help you today. 11:43:25 AM

Me: great! why will my iPhone Kindle app not let me sign in with the correct info? 11:43:43 AM

Me: I even went so far as to update it online to see if that would help. Nope. 11:43:57 AM

Vipin: If I am right you are facing the issue with your kindle app for iphone? 11:44:16 AM

Me: tells me I don't exist.....I've been trying for 30 min. 11:44:19 AM

Me: I am dealing with the fact that Kindle says my username and password do not exist. 11:44:43 AM

Me: and yet, I'm signed in with them online 11:44:51 AM

Me: so they do exist 11:44:54 AM

Me: but my phone Kindle app says no 11:45:03 AM

Me: and I just downloaded the I know it's the most up to date 11:45:18 AM

Me: as is my iOS 11:45:22 AM

Vipin: Okay. 11:45:30 AM

Vipin: Are you referring to this app Tamsin's iPhone 11:45:39 AM

Vipin: Which is registered in your amaozn account? 11:45:56 AM

Me: I would guess so 11:46:00 AM

Vipin: Okay. 11:46:14 AM

Vipin: Then lets try some troubleshooting steps Tamsin. 11:46:32 AM

Me: sure....but not sure we can do much since I can't get past the sign in screen 11:47:12 AM

Vipin: Please deregister the kindle for app for iphone from here. 11:47:54 AM

Vipin: full link) 11:47:54 AM

Me:'s deregistered 11:48:19 AM

Vipin: Thanks. 11:48:39 AM

Vipin: Now please uninstall the app. 11:49:21 AM

Me: I deleted it 11:49:45 AM

Vipin: Thanks. 11:51:11 AM

Vipin: Now install the app again. 11:51:21 AM

Me: it's loading 11:52:00 AM

Vipin: Great. 11:52:27 AM

Me:'s loaded 11:54:44 AM

Vipin: Thanks. 11:54:49 AM

Vipin: Now please try to register it again. 11:54:59 AM

Me: it says, "Device Registration Failed. No customer found for this email address or password." 11:55:57 AM

Me: just like it did last time 11:56:02 AM

Vipin: A member of our Kindle specialists team will need to help you with this. Can you please hold while I transfer you. One of our Kindle Specialists will assist you shortly. 11:56:23 AM

A Customer Service Associate will be with you in a moment.


Thought at the time: "Oh...okay, I'm being moved up...this should help." 

(Why do we think these things when we know better?)


You are now connected to Prasanth from

Prasanth: Hello Tamsin, 11:56:55 AM

Prasanth: I'm Prasanth from Amazon Kindle support. I'll be happy to look in to your issue. 11:56:55 AM

Me: ok 11:57:03 AM

Prasanth: I'm sorry to hear about the problem you have in your Kindle app. 11:57:15 AM

Me: I'm typing the correct sign in information 11:57:31 AM

Me: I've checked multiple times 11:57:37 AM

Prasanth: Would you like to register your Kindle for iPhone app in your account? 11:58:03 AM

Me: *sigh* I just was told to unregister it so I did...then I deleted the app...then I reinstalled it...then I tried to sign in and register........ 11:58:40 AM

Prasanth: No worries, I'll help you with this. 11:58:56 AM

Prasanth: Have you installed the Kindle for iPhone app in your iPhone? 12:00:27 PM

Me: yes....twice now 12:00:44 PM

Prasanth: Okay. 12:00:54 PM

Prasanth: May I have the email address you've entered to register the app? 12:01:13 PM

Me: it won't let me register the app. The correct email for the account that has my e-books is: (deleted email because reasons) 12:02:02 PM

Me: I'm signed into the account on my computer right now 12:02:26 PM

Me: hence why I know the email and password are correct 12:02:42 PM

Prasanth: Okay. 12:03:05 PM

Prasanth: I've sent the password reset link to your account email address. Please reset your password now and let me know. 12:03:40 PM

Me: I just reset the password a few minutes ago. But sure...I can do it again. Hang on. 12:04:07 PM

Me: I took it back to what it was before I changed it 10 min ago 12:05:11 PM

Prasanth: Have you reset your password using the link which I've sent now? 12:05:47 PM

Me: I used the link you sent my email since that's the one you told me to use. 12:06:16 PM

Prasanth: Okay. 12:06:51 PM

Prasanth: Please go ahead and try register the app now using your account email address and new password. 12:07:39 PM

Me: yet again...denied 12:08:10 PM

Me: it says, "Device Registration Failed. No customer found for this email address or password." 12:08:22 PM

Me: we are going in circles here.... 12:08:35 PM

Prasanth: A member of our Retail(account) team will be the perfect person to help you with this. Please wait, let me connect your chat to our Retail Team. 12:09:55 PM

A Customer Service Associate will be with you in a moment.
Thought at the time: "What? Are you shitting me? You're transferring me again? You have got to be effing kidding me! Oh look, another name that proves Amazon e-chat outsources to another goes the song and dance..."

You are now connected to Mukesh from

Mukesh: Hi! You've reached Amazon chat support, my name is Mukesh. I'll be more than happy to help you today. 12:10:22 PM

Me: Hi, are number 3 on who has come to help me. Please, for the love of all that is holy, do not ask me to do the same things the last two did. 12:10:32 PM

Mukesh: Alexis, Please allow me a moment, while i check your previous conversation. 12:11:24 PM

Me: that would be great 12:11:31 PM

Me: :) 12:11:34 PM

Mukesh: Thank you so much for waiting Tamsin 12:15:46 PM

Me: sure thing 12:16:22 PM

Mukesh: So the email address associated with your account is :  youremailaddress (deleted before posting because...duh) Right? 12:16:24 PM

Me: yes 12:16:28 PM

Mukesh: Thank you 12:16:52 PM

Mukesh: And you used the password reset link to change the password. Right? 12:17:07 PM

Me: yes 12:17:13 PM

Me: I've changed that bad boy now twice in hopes of fixing the issue. 12:17:36 PM

Me: I've downloaded and deleted and uploaded and deleted and reloaded and....jeebus...It's almost been an hour since I started this whole problem. 12:18:29 PM

Mukesh: Tamsin, Please provide me your phone number. I need to arrange a call back from our account specialist team. They will help you to login manually. 12:19:12 PM
Thought at the time: "REALLY?????!!!! Holy mother*cking son of a b*tch..."

Me: Seriously? I am logged in, online. It's a good account number and password. They work! Trust me, I'm lookin' at my information. Why do they need to call me? *sigh* I just....ugh. Fine. My cell is (deleted to protect the "innocent") . *headdesk* 12:20:58 PM

Mukesh: Thank you 12:21:44 PM

Me: yeah 12:21:48 PM

Mukesh: Your call is now connected 12:22:02 PM

Mukesh: I hope this call will resolve your issue. 12:22:11 PM

Mukesh: Thank you for contacting Take care and have a wonderful day goodbye :) 12:22:20 PM

Mukesh from has left the conversation.



I ended up getting Taryn in Password Assistance on the phone. And here's the funny thing. Suddenly the app allowed me to hit the button (because I was now that person who stands at the elevator and hits the button even though they've hit it before because hey, maybe it'll work faster) and BOOM! It worked. She'd not even done anything yet.

We both have NO idea WTF was wrong. But's fixed. I mentioned this blog post and she took a look at the chat. Seems these three will be getting contacted for some retraining. *evil grin*

My work here is done.

Have a good Friday you all...I need a drink!

Wait...I'm at work...guess I'm settling for tea...

Anyone got any vodka in the house?????


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